a continuation

I'm surprised I was able to sleep that night, but it took awhile. No tears yet; those come after the shock wears off. My alarm goes off to tell me that it's time to get up and go to class, but I just lay there. I can't get up. I know that if I miss another day of class it sets me back, but again, I just lay there. I tell myself, "just sleep a little longer, at least make it to the second half". All of a sudden it's noon; and then it's 1:00; then it's 2:30; then it's 3:30 . . . that's when I get out of bed.

I send out some text messages to my friends that reads, "Sterling broke up with me last night". As I typed it out, I still couldn't believe the words that I saw. I don't remember too much what happened the rest of the night, but it didn't take too long for me to roll from my couch back to my bed. Then come the tears. Then come the puffy eyes in the morning. My alarm goes off again, telling me it's Tuesday and it's time to go to work. It took about 5 minutes for me to accept the fact that I wasn't going to work today. I got up a little earlier than yesterday, but only because I had wanted to be awake enough to go to my other job.

It took everything I had not to send you a text for that day and a half. We hadn't gone that long without communication in almost 4 months. 4 months of constant emailing, instant messaging, talking. Now nothing. Then it comes. It's about halfway through my shift and my phone vibrates.
"How is your day?" it says.
My face flushed and I thought I was going to throw up - or cry, not sure which one!
"Almost over. How's yours?"
Or something like that.

dashboard confessionals?

You broke up with me one week and 5 days ago today. The weekend started with me picking up Dawn and driving out to Esparza's to meet Mike and some other friends for happy hour. I decided to go out to Euless because I new you were getting off work later and I figured it would be the best way for us to see each other. You met us out, but when you got to the restaurant, you said you were only going to stay for about an hour. I know I shouldn't have assumed you were going to come home with me because we hadn't actually decided on anything. But I didn't really see what the problem was since you didn't have to work on Saturday 'till 3pm. When you decided it was time for you to leave, as we walked out to your car to say good-bye, I could tell something was different. You didn't kiss me the same and there was no "I love you". You said you felt spread thin, stressed out a little. So you left and that was that. (The night went downhill from there, so an upsetting situation was made worse, but that doesn't have anything to do with you).

I don't remember Saturday at this point, but I know I had to work 'till 6 and you went to work at 3. But I do remember that we didn't talk too much and when we did, it didn't feel like you. I spent all day Sunday trying to figure out what I could do to take the pressure of our relationship off your plate; to keep you in my life without letting you go. But I couldn't get you to talk to me. Too many texts, not enough face to face. It was an unsettling feeling that you couldn't spare one small hour to talk things out with your girlfriend that you (now questionably) loved 3 days ago. But I wanted to show I was being supportive, so I let the conversation happen over the phone, only to find out that you had decided what I was trying to avoid. "It's not fair for you to have a boyfriend you can only see once or twice a month". That was that. You made up your mind. It was a Sunday.

I went to bed in disbelief. Did that really just happen?