Um, do you know how to get there?

I haven't paid my phone bill in 3 months. Good thing I have a cell phone or else you wouldn't be able to get ahold of me when they cut off my line.

Sometime between May and June, I spent WAY too much money. On intangible shit, by the way. So now, each month since June, I've had to do a 'Paycheck Advance', (a wonderful invention by the people at Wells Fargo. You can only do it if you have direct deposit - oh, and let's not forget the $2 finance charge for every $20 you advance - dammit). Yep, that's right, finance charge included, that's $550 that comes out of my direct deposit each month, which in turn puts me $550 behind, so I have to advance another $500. Did I mention I only get paid once a month? I had 2 interviews last week - one with Dillard's, one with Foley's. I tell you, I've never been so happy to be this close to a second job. Oh, I almost forgot, not only will I be working an extra 20 hours a week (minimum) on top of my full-time job, but I begin my master's program next week, so let's go ahead and add 6 hours of classes to that load. I know what you're thinking, "student loans, man! sweet ass sweet!" Alas, I'm not eligible for more loans for another 12 hours of school. Long story, don't feel like telling it.

I'm gonna be a horrible mother. I can't even keep my cat happy, and cats are supposed to be fairly self-sufficient. She still wakes me up in the middle of the night, but now she bites my hair. . . NO, IT'S NOT CUTE. She literally chews it so it breaks off. It's one of those "I'm gonna purr myself into ecstasy and digress into a state of kittenhood and I need to suck/chew something", psuedo suckling kind of things. Why is it that of all the cats in the world, I get the one who doesn't like the smell of catnip and can't keep itself amused? When people meet her, they say, "well, at least she's pretty". By the way, I'm not prego or anything, just thinking about the future. And yes, I am a dog person with a cat. Go figure.

On a less self-deprecating note, I had a fabulous weekend. Wait, hang on, you have to say it right. Use that heir-of-pretention accent, like so: I had a fa-bulous weekend. There you go. Friday night I had a fit at about 9:45 that lasted a little over an hour and caused me to scrub my kitchen floor (fa-bulous? you might be thinking. . . but it gets better) and clean my living room. Then my friend came over, we had popcorn, watched a movie, which I'm not going to tell the title for fear that some of you might take it as a suggestion - or worse, a clue as to my character. Saturday morning comes and I go to my interview at Dillards, then to Foley's, then I visit a friend who buys me lunch at an overrated fast-food style Chinese restaurant and I get to take BOTH of our leftovers home. (That was Sat, and I just finished the last bit for dinner tonight, Monday - hell yea.) sorry, my phone rang. . . where was I? Oh yes. This was followed by a small nap lasting half the day, which was followed by a night of heavy drinking, which I didn't have to pay for, and Whataburger, which I did pay for. The next morning, Sunday, I nursed my hangover with a fa-bulous buffet (did I mention I didn't pay for it), and a day at the lake, soaking in the sun. And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, we were all invited to a fiesta, if you will, of fajitas, salsa, ceviche and more. Like I said. . . fa-bulous.

Now, you may be thinking, "what a bitch. You don't have to brag!" However, I would have to disagree. For someone who is behind on almost every bill she has, this weekend was a much needed break from reality. And no, I don't con my way through my friendships to get what I want (wow, defensive much? it must be the guilt!). They just love me and feel sorry for me! hahahahaha, oh wait, is pity funny? Anywho, sometimes we all deserve to be spoiled. So go out there and find someone to spoil you - and if you can't, let me know, I'll lend you my friends. They're the best.

Don't worry, I'll go back to the ever-so-humorous self-deprecation next time.